Blogging on The Brightside

"I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." -The Little Engine That Could

“Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain.”

on August 1, 2012

— Kahlil Gibran

Recently, I have had numerous people in my life diagnosed with cancer.

Please take heart, that is not meant to be the motivational message being presented.

Each of these people are strong and courageous and have had their fair share of setbacks and triumphs. Regardless of their history, connection to each other, or connection to the world around them, they all go through the five stages of grief.

1. Denial and Isolation

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

Going through any major life trauma can evoke all of these feelings. We start by believing that this event isn’t happening. We push people away. We get FURIOUS about the fact that we’re faced with it. We bargain, we barter with life. We ask so much of any one entity in exchange for a better outlook or a fleeting problem altogether. We realize that no matter how angry we get or how much we try to change it, we are struggling. We are sad. Very, very sad. So sad that it hurts to breathe. And after a long bout with sadness, anger, and confusion, we take a step into the new day that is acceptance. I think that, while it may fit under the last stage, it is almost important enough that it demands its own stage and process. Part of that last step requires what this quote suggests– feeling what came after the pain of these experiences.

In most instances, running from a problem does nothing to solve it. What we’re running from is something that we have felt similarly before. While it may not be the same pain, it is hurt that we have made our way through. We are not the pain that life brings to us. Each of these individuals cannot be described in one word, let alone a word as trivial as pain.

So to these individuals, and to you, the reader…

Realize all that you are. You are smart, funny, passionate, intelligent, and so much more. One thing that you are not is pain– to yourself or anyone around you. Do not let pain define you. Realize all that you have borne before this and acknowledge that it made you who you are today– A FIGHTER. I stand by all of you as you face this battle. This journey may not be easy, but it is made bearable with good friends.

Love and Light,

Carly

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One response to ““Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain.”

  1. Great advice!! Thanks a bunch.

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